The Things I Do
by Funky Funky Usopp
Summary: One Shot: After this Ryou now knows the danger of taking a sugar high prone Malik Trick or treating plz RnR .


The Things I Do  
  
By Raine-Cross AN: this was a request for a friend on the MB I go to ^^ I don't own YGO at all and I know the chars might be out of char but it's fun! So PLEASE love  
me and RnR to make me happy ^.^ or I'll sic Toad on you   
  
The Things I Do  
  
Ryou looked at himself in the mirror and brushed himself down with a small sigh and went into a small-scale rant about how Bakura never kept their room tidy and it was dirtier then his mind. He was dressed as a priest, not one by today's standards but rather like the ones in ancient times.  
  
He would have gone as Change Of Heart but thought back to how hard it was to run in a skirt and decided against it even if he DID look great in a dress. The door opened and in walked Malik dressed as the Pharaoh and wearing a huge grin on his face.  
  
"Are you ready yet koi? You been in here an hour now" Malik whined with the grace of a 5 year old and lay on the pale boys bed.  
  
"Oh hang on! Almost done" Ryou frowned a little and turned around looking at himself in the mirror some more.  
  
"Malik, does my bottom look big in this?"  
  
"Ryou your ass looks big in EVERYTHING it's time we DEAL with it ok?" Malik snickered and rolled off the bed before the British hikari would chuck his hairbrush at him.  
  
"You're so cruel to me" Ryou pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"Heh what I MEANT to say was 'Oh Ryou your so hot and sexy I just wanna hump your leg!' happy?" Malik bounced on the bed.  
  
"Um.."  
  
"GOOD! Now lets go steal candy from little kids!.. I mean. Trick or treat.. yes.." Malik chuckled nervously and shifty eyed.  
  
"You really are as bad as Bakura" Ryou rolled his eyes.  
  
"No, cus I can see where I'm going when I rip people off, remember the time he took the puzzle and his hair got in the way and he crashed into a lamp post?" Malik said and carried on bouncing on the bed.  
  
Ryou came to the conclusion that his koi had already had candy that night seeing as he was hyper. Malik never having had candy before was new to it and was addicted not to mention all the sugar had made him hit the roof.  
  
"Now, now be nice he can't help it that the scissors always brake when he tries to cut his hair" Ryou frowned a little when Malik leapt off the bed and landed with a thud on the floor.  
  
"Ok, ok can we go now Please? Please oh Please oh Please oh Please oh PLEEEEEASSSSSE!" Malik squealed and attached himself to Ryou's leg as the silver haired boy tried to step over him.  
  
"Ok are you ready?" Ryou asked.  
  
"Oh hell ya!" He smirked evilly and pulled out a few toilet rolls and eggs.  
  
"What do you plan on doing with those?" He raised a slender eyebrow at the blonde.  
  
"Oh ya know I thought I'd help poor innocent kids who hurt their knees or make omlets.. There to chuck at peoples houses Ryou!" Malik replied while waving his arms around madly causing an egg to hit the wall.  
  
".. I didn't do it" A sweet smile graced the hyper boys face as he ran from Ryou's glare.  
  
"Some times I feel more like a mother then a koi" He shook his head and followed the hyper teen.  
  
Finally outside the Bakura household the two lovers made their way from house to house getting candy well that's what Ryou would have liked but fate hated Ryou that night. Malik had another 5 year old backed into a corner and was cackling evilly.  
  
"Hand over your candy or else!" More evil laughed and thunder flashed behind him.  
  
"Dude how did you do that?" The small snotty nosed child asked.  
  
"I have great, GREAT power!"  
  
"Malik just knows the weather man" Ryou sighed and rested his hand on his hips.  
  
"Ryou! You spoiled my raging evil moment!" The blonde stamped his foot and pouted.  
  
While Malik was pouting the small child ran from the two like a headless chicken which brought on some mild amusement of the sadistic teen whole smirked. Ryou shook his head again and dragged Malik along kicking and screaming.  
  
"Ryou my fluffy haired lover I have an idea" Malik grinned and pulled a protesting Ryou along.  
  
"Oh my!"  
  
Soon the bouncy blonde of doom and his not so demoniac fluffy haired side kick had made it to the home of the one and only, thank god, Seto Kaiba's mansion. Malik pulled out his treasures and grinned.  
  
"Malik what are you doing with the eggs."  
  
"Nothing.." Malik tried to look innocent.  
  
"It's hard to believe you when you have that evil smirk and a pixie stick in your other hand, how many of those have you had?" Ryou tapped his foot on the floor.  
  
"In the last hour. 10"  
  
"My god" Ryou gasped and watched the blonde run off towards the Kaiba mansion at top speed.  
  
Ryou groaned and hiked up the hem of his priest suit and legged it after his hyper and evil koi. Once at the Kaiba mansion it was too late it had already been vandalised, Malik's eyes went huge and chibi as he fell to his knees.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Malik."  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"  
  
"Malik!!"  
  
"OOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOO"  
  
Ryou's stress vain appeared on his forehead and he gritted his teach. He took a deep breath and pulled out a candy bar and waved it in the over dramatic blondes face. Malik squealed and tackled Ryou.  
  
"Your such a pre Madonna" Ryou sighed looking at Malik who was sitting on his chest eating the candy bar happily.  
  
"Ryou my darling I have a backup plan!" Malik hit his fist in the air.  
  
"We shall go vandalise Yugi's game store!" He laughed evilly.  
  
"That's great koi but.. Get off of me please?"  
  
"Oh right sorry" Malik blushed and helped the pale boy up.  
  
Soon the once totally sane British teen Ryou Bakura found himself pressed against the wall of the game shop being pulled around the corner by an insane blonde who was humming his own mission impossible theme tune. And as Ryou would love to point out, his koi was tone bloody deaf and sounded as tuneful as a cat stuck under a trucks wheel.  
  
"Don't you think if we are going to do this would should be silent?" Ryou asked flicking back some of his hair.  
  
"Aww Ryou every mastermind needs a theme tune!" Malik said in a tone that clearly said 'I have spoken!' in which Ryou simply rolled his eyes at and sighed.  
  
"Yes, well, that may be so but since when have YOU been a mastermind? After all you STILL can't work the toaster" Ryou announced.  
  
"That was for the ass comment wasn't it?"  
  
"Oh very much so"  
  
Finally at their destination of the back garden of the one Yugi Motou and grandfather, Malik gleefully chucked a toilet paper over the tree. He then  
pouted as it came back down.  
  
"Um Ryou why didn't it work?"  
  
"Well Malik, your meant to have the end undone so it leaves a trail.."  
  
"Oh.."  
  
Now with the roll of paper correctly ready for some happy child vandalism Malik had another attempt of chucking it this time it worked! That is if it  
hadn't came down and smacked Ryou on the head.  
  
"Ow! Watch it koi!" Ryou warned through gritted teeth and chucked the roll back into the tree making it bounce from one branch to the other till the  
whole thing was covered.  
  
Ryou blushed and looked down at the ground, he hadn't meant to perform such a mindless act on his friends' house. Malik's jaw dropped as he gaped at  
what used to be the perfect innocent teenage boy in shock.  
  
"Ryou!" He gasped.  
  
"Oh my" Ryou chuckled nervously.  
  
"NOW FOR THE EGGS!" Malik grinned and bounced from foot to foot after  
placing an egg in Ryou's hand.  
  
"What do I do with this?" Ryou pouted.  
  
"Chuck it at the window!" Malik said going into combat mode as he dived to the floor and managed to find some leafs to stick in his hair as he rolled  
closer to the house.  
  
Ryou sweatdropped and watched his koi shuffle up towards the window looking like something the Joey dragged in. He looked at his own egg and sighed, chucking it in a random direction. Ryou smirked thinking he had chucked it  
miles away when a small splat was heard infront of him. He blinked then  
burst into laugher as Malik turned to him with a glare with egg running  
down his face.  
  
"Since when did I look like a window koi?" Malik hissed.  
  
"Since I could see through your childish plans"  
  
Both hikari's looked towards the back door of the home of Yugi and saw Yami  
grinning and leaning on the doorframe. Ryou squeaked while Malik rolled  
along the grass to get away from him.  
  
"I didn't do it" The blonde said at last as he stood by Ryou.  
  
"Uh huh so what's with all the paper around our yard?" The spirit of the  
puzzle raised an eyebrow.  
  
"It was RYOU! His sweater must have been too tight all those years.." Malik  
said pointing to Ryou.  
  
"Is this true Ryou?" Yami said with a newly adopted tone of a mother.  
  
"Yes Yami" He blushed.  
  
"I thought so seeing as Malik is both tone deaf and can't aim for his life"  
Yami rolled his eyes and looked at the two.  
  
"But I'm in a good mode, why not come in and get some candy?"  
  
Malik raised an eyebrow at the mention of his beloved sugary substance and turned to Ryou who still had a tint of red on his face from blushing. Ryou nodded and stepped forward but soon sweatdropped when the blonde squealed  
ran and jumped at Yami in a glomp.  
  
"Candy!!" He grinned.  
  
"Yes.." Yami dropped him on the ground and turned around.  
  
Ryou shook his head and giggled at Malik as he helped him up, Malik pulled  
the small forest of twigs, leafs and a few bugs out of his hair as he linked arms with Ryou and skipped into the house. Ryou made a mental note to never ever let his own yami have candy, it has that effect on utter nut  
cases.  
  
~The End~ 


End file.
